What if having your voice isn't about what you say?

I used to think that if I could say the exact right thing to someone, it would get the result I wanted. Same with writing – if I could just get those exact words right then blah blah blah would occur.

After talking, explaining, and “communicating” myself blue in the face in my personal relationships with no change resulting at all, and being constantly misunderstood, overlooked, or looked at like I was a weirdo in my professional ones – I realised perhaps my theory / philosophy / belief in this area was just a tad faulty.

You know how people say, “Actions speak louder than words”? Well I would like to tweak it just slightly to say, “Choices speak louder than words.” 

What’s the different between choices and actions? Well, action implies a doing. If it’s not something that you say, it must be something you do.  And well, it’s not necessarily about just what you do that changes how seen and heard you are in relationships, although I would say the actions you take are definitely included in that process - it’s just not necessarily the source of change.  Your choice is.

Choice to have your voice can look a whole lot of ways:

• It can be your choice not to maintain your story that no one listens to you
• It can be your choice to not judge you or your relationship choices (good, bad or ugly)
• It can be your choice to choose not to go down the usual autopilot response / reaction when you get stuck or frustrated, and wonder about what else is possible instead.
• It can be your demand of yourself to change the energy you have about you, regarding you in your life.
• It can be a choice to view your relationships as interesting, rather than significant and all-meaningful.
• It can be a choice to take a different action, to do something you haven’t before, to say something different, or to speak from a different energy.

 
It can be so many things! But they are all choices we can make – a lot of which we either don’t realise we actually have, or that we have already decided won’t make any difference, so we don’t even try. We don’t even wonder anymore. 

​What if you began to wonder again – what choices do you have here? What would having your voice in a certain area of life, or in your life in general BE like? 

Because I can guarantee you one thing:  Having your voice is hardly ever about what you say.

Not let that one twist your mind for a bit… 😊

I recently did a free online talk with a bunch of cool people, talking about different points of view and tools in dealing with bullies that can create dynamic changes.  You can watch the replay on my website here.  
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